Shakin' Hands
Welcome to 'Shakin' Hands,' the podcast where entrepreneurship meets fascinating stories from the most intriguing minds today. From proven business practices to groundbreaking ideas that challenge the status quo, Shakin' Hands' is not just about the handshake that seals a deal but about the shared experiences and values that unite us all. Whether you're an aspiring entrepreneur, a seasoned business owner, or someone who loves a good story about overcoming odds, Shakin' Hands' promises to deliver compelling content that shakes up the conventional and celebrates the extraordinary.
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Host: Jack Moran
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Shakin' Hands
Ep. 46 | Why Change Feels So Hard - Holly Melohn
This episode of Shakin' Hands explores personal transformation and overcoming deep-seated mental and emotional barriers. Jack talks with Holly Melohn, an empowerment and transformation coach who works with individuals to heal trauma, release limiting beliefs, and step into a more empowered version of themselves. The two discuss how past trauma, self-limiting beliefs, and subconscious patterns shape our lives. They discuss techniques like meditation, breathwork, and somatic healing to release old wounds and step into a new identity. Whether you want to overcome personal struggles or elevate your mindset, this conversation offers practical insights for lasting change.
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Host: Jack Moran
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Welcome to Shakin' Hands, where we provide the platform for entrepreneurs and thought leaders to share their stories in order to hopefully influence others to get out of the rat race and chase their own dreams. If you have any recommendations for guests or questions that you want to be asked, please don't hesitate to reach out. Anyways, if you enjoy the podcast, please like, comment, subscribe and share in order to keep the podcast growing. Otherwise, I'm your host, Jack Moran and this is Shakin’ Hands. If you're looking for business mentorship, I have a place where you can get feedback on your unique personal development and business growth challenges. Over the last year, I've brought together a group of impact driven thought leaders where we meet every single day to discuss psychology, communication, mindset, and business case studies. We have people who have made millions of dollars, lost millions of dollars, Harvard MBAs and new entrepreneurs like you and I. Entrepreneurship can be lonely. So if you're looking for a support system, please follow the link in the description below for some more information. What are you doing? It's like you're all good. Yeah. So I'm a I'm right now I'm a transformation and empowerment coach. Okay. What does that entail? So I just work with women like one on one. And I really help them. Like, I prioritize, like, the holistic side of things. Like, I am essentially, it's just one on one coaching where I get to work with people around, whatever their traumas are. So if they have a set desire like something that they feel really passionate about, that they're wanting to create in their life or set that as a core focus and then work all the way backwards. So what is standing in the way? I keep almost hitting this. It's all good. What is standing in the way? What do they need to let go of or step into in order to have those things? So that's like the main focus right now. What are those like typical things like or the typical limitations that they're. Well okay. So usually with the work that I'm doing it's like inner child stuff. But also any form of like sexual trauma or emotional trauma, like abuse, things that happen when they're younger that they hadn't worked through yet. That's what I tend to see a lot of people, like, have, issues with like, worthiness and believing that they're worthy because of the circumstances that they lived through. So just like overcoming that and working with the body, because a lot of the time we think that we want something with our mind and we're like, I want this, I want this, I want this, but then our body is still holding the imprint of whatever happened to you, you know, or the people that are coming to you, or are they typically already, aware of, like where these, these outcomes that they're in this belief systems that they have in these like traumas that they've had, how they're and what they are and how they're impacting their life, or are you helping them to identify what those, causes or circumstances were that are impacting their life now? I do help people identify a lot. Like sometimes they have somewhat of an understanding. Typically people who come to me, they're struggling in their life, like they're trying to figure out what's going on. And they're kind of at a point where they're realizing something's not working, like the things that they're trying to go for or not working out. And so what they usually think is the problem, there's always stuff underneath it. And so when they come to me, we kind of help see, like what is actually the root of this. Like what is actually the pain that's underneath. What are the emotional addictions that are that are at the baseline. How are you identifying those things. And we already started this. I figured, yeah. But yeah. So it's interesting. So part of my story is that I was working with, like I, my story is that I recovered. I was sorry, I got all nervous. We cut this out. I know we're not gonna cut. We don't cut anything. And but don't worry about it. And the reason it's funny that, like, that's like a prime example. Is I panic. Yeah. We stopped. We stopped, like, telling people that we start because, like, for that very reason. Like, they're like chatting and they're being like social and they're being authentic and then like, they freeze. Yeah. Then they freeze because I have an intro and I tell them that they're on the podcast. But if we just like intro and start and like, get the conversation going naturally, I know when the pod starts and yeah, it's a lot easier for don't have to they'll be nervous and nothing gets nothing gets cut out. You can, feed and mess up as much as you want, and no one really cares what makes me happy. Okay, what? Mistakes are welcome. But yeah. So part of my journey was that I was using a lot of substances and that was like the mask, the symptom, if you will, to a lot of emotional addiction. So I wasn't treating so I was really experiencing like a lot of issues with anger and depression and suffering and kind of just going in situation after situation where I was, like creating more chaos in my life. And at the time I was going through all of my healing stuff, I was focusing on, okay, I need to get rid of the substances. I need to get rid of, my issues with food. You know, I was looking a lot at, like, what things were on the outside, but not the root cause. And so what I do with people is, like, I help them figure out what is it that is at the baseline, like, yes, all these things are going wrong. All these things are happening in your life that are taking you away from who you want to be. But what is actually underneath that? And it can it really unfolds in a lot of different ways. And it's, I would say it's so individual to what each person does, and their own experience, like every single person that I work with, it feels very, very different. But, it always ends up going back to that baseline of like, what is at the root of this? What is the like practice for someone who is trying to identify those limitations or those traumas to, like, get those if they're not even aware of them? Yeah. So what I usually do is I'll put like we'll go over what is your desire? Like, what do you want in your life? So they'll say, like all the things that they want and we'll find one core desire and then I'll take them through five senses, reality, where they'll visualize their life of fully having that. Sorry. They're good. Where they'll fully, have that reality. And then I take them on a scan through their body to check. Okay. Where in your body does this feel inconsistent? Where do you feel tension? Where do you feel stuck? Where are you feeling sadness or any form of emotions. And then from there we open that up and we go into the body. Because the body there's this really incredible book called The Body Keeps a score. It, second or third person. I mentioned that book. It's really deep. Honestly, it's not that trauma informed, but it's an amazing book. And it does speak to, how much our body keeps this wisdom. So again, like, you have your desire and then where it's in consistency. So you go into your body and unravel it from there. Okay. And what is that. So you're like are you guiding them through a meditation. Essentially. Yeah. Yeah. So it's taking people through a meditation and also through using part's work. So you will do artwork. It's like where you been. So let's say there's that part inside of you that's maybe feeling hot and tight in your chest, for example. That would be like a part of you. And so you're, you're able to kind of not separate it necessarily, but create its own identity for it and give it a voice so you can allow it for to have expression and to really just be able to let you know what's happening. It's giving an opportunity for your body to speak to you. So do that typically, are people having like intuitive thoughts in these times where like they start having these realizations on like, oh, like, you know, someone yelled at me or someone bullied me when I was five years old, and that's what's impacting us. Yes, it can look like that. And sometimes it also like sometimes people will be able to pinpoint like, oh, this is a protection piece for X, Y, and Z. That happened to me. But sometimes it doesn't have like a full story. And that's also okay too. One of the things that's really helped me on my journey is knowing that you can just trust the sensations in your body, and you don't necessarily have to focus on the memory. Oftentimes our memory isn't as accurate as what we feel. And so when you focus on the sensations like, okay, I'm feeling this burning feeling in my chest, you know, then you can move it out without having to get lost in the story. So if you once you've identified and you have the awareness or you're having this experience in the moment of like this feeling, due to like some trauma or something or some, you know, trauma response, how do you get over that and start to not have that response anymore so that it's not affecting your life? Yeah, totally. So I always believe in miracles. So I believe it could happen in one session, but sometimes it does take a couple. But it really, you know, you just have to give space to these things to be felt. So by having an awareness of it, bringing it to your attention, giving it a voice, it allows for things to be released, like energy begins to move, it begins to release around those things. And, you know, someone might cry, they might start to shake. You know, and then typically, if it's bringing up a huge emotional, response, we can do like breathwork around it and really help move the energy that way as well. But typically it's just, it's pinpointing it and then doing somatic practices around it. Gotcha. And I know you talked a little bit like about your journey to getting to this, but like what was your like background and like, have you always like had this entrepreneurial mindset. How did you end up making this leap into like following this passion and making it a business? Yeah. Thank you for asking that. It was kind of thrown on to me in a way. I had a pretty life altering experience when I was 19. I was going to college and ended up getting arrested for a felony, and, Yes. Yeah, felony trespassing, to be specific. And, I would never expect that there. Yeah. I was like, I got blacked out when I, when I and many hours went missing and my heart is racing. It's bringing back some surfacing, some trauma. Yeah, probably. But yeah, I'm was my first time sharing this publicly, but, I had shared it a lot with the people that I healed with, but, but, yeah, so many hours went missing. I ended up, like, regaining consciousness as I was being arrested. And I was then lost consciousness again. I ended up in jail. Ended up having to go through, like, all this legal stuff in order to get it off my record, because it was the first time I'd ever gotten arrested. And, yeah. So it was one of the things that they mandated was they're like, you have to go to trauma therapy, you have to get sober. You have to, what do they say? Intensive outpatient, like all these different things that I had to do. And at the time, I was like, how can I work around this? Like, I was in complete shock that my life was turning into this, and I was going down a dark path, like I was in a really deep, and kind of like a dark night of the soul when this was all happening leading up to it. So it wasn't completely random, but it was pretty severe, like what was happening. So again, I was like, fighting it in denial, not wanting to actually, like, commit to change. And then at one point I was like, you know what? I just need to go all in, like, I need to surrender to this. I need to give this all I got and just go for it. And so I did that, and that was like a turning point in my life. Yeah. And like, as terrible as that sounds and how, like, you know, maybe feel like the worst thing that's ever happened to you at the same time, like, the perception can be, it's the best thing that ever happened to you because you wouldn't be on this journey without it. Exactly. Yeah. And I always call it like a divine intervention, like it was exactly what I needed. And I'm actually so grateful that it happened, because it brought me into spaces where I learned how much being of service, like, meant to me. Because part of my healing was to be of service. Like that was not like formally what the requirement was, but it was what it turned into. And I just, I got in the hands of the right people. Like, I met a ton of both of my most incredible mentors that are women through that. And they kind of just, like taught me everything I know now. So. So what are the habits that you have, like in you have implemented into your life that allow for you to be consistent and allow you to be successful, allow you to be prosperous and happy? Honestly? Yeah. It's like mostly for me, what I notice is the biggest thing that gets in the way is if I'm kind of hiding what I'm feeling. So, I just have to show up for myself every single day. Like one of the processes I'm going through right now. And it really ties into change in transformation is like having, like, showing up for yourself every single day and being consistent with that. Because the more that you show up for yourself, the more that you prove to yourself that you are worthy of whatever it is you're turning into. So what does that look like in practice? Like that's kind of an abstract concept. Like totally like for someone who has identified and is aware that, okay, there's I have incongruence in my life like things aren't going the way that I want them to. I'm not living the life that I want to like. Where do they start? Like in practice? Like what is the methodology? How do they start showing up for themselves if that's the best place to start? Totally. I would say for someone who's like a full on beginner, because sometimes it's hard to be consistent at first. But I would say and like the little things, one of the ways that I do it now is I have like a daily meditation practice, but for a long time I didn't because I was resistant to showing up. So that is one way. But whatever it is for you, like if that means cooking yourself an intentional breakfast or working out or, you know, journaling every day, if you set aside roughly like 30 minutes a day to only focus on yourself and to essentially set the intention for what you're wanting to turn like, become, then I think that is a really huge what is a meditation like, like for you daily? Like, yeah. So I do, Doctor Joe Dispenza as meditations. So I really love his work. Like what? It's one of those practices I know Joe Dispenza about. I don't know his, like, specific. Yeah. Attention routine. So, it's actually really incredible. And I would recommend that everyone goes and checks out his stuff. And I'm probably not going to do it justice by how I explain it. But essentially, you surrender your body and you tune in to the unknown. So, one, is that just an intention that you set, like in the beginning? How do you do that in like, yeah. So. Well, how do you surrender your body? Yeah, I know these are like, very broad topics, but, okay. So essentially like when you, when do you start the meditation, he asks of you to like, go into your body and you sometimes you'll start by tuning into your heart, and tuning into the truth of who you are. Essentially. That's how I, believe in it is like the your heart. When you connect to your heart, you're attuning to the truth of who you are. And then from there. So you're just paying attention to your heart. There's putting your awareness onto it. Yes, exactly. And he teaches like where you place your attention is where you place your energy or where. Yeah. And so, yeah. So when you place it into your heart, you start to feel like the emotions of your heart and he asks us to go into the unknown. And so what that means for me is it's you have to let go of who you are in order to become something new. I want to be mindful because I know we're not necessarily supposed to teach his work. But what I. How I use it is like you, you cannot in order to turn into the version of you you want to be. You cannot create it from the old version. So what that means is I have to let go of everything I know in order to become this new version of myself and some people, you know, in my situation, I had to let go of everything I knew because I had no choice. Like your backs against a wall. But if you're coming in from a place of like, yeah, life is comfortable and I want to be better, you know, you have to really position, position yourself and say, I'm a surrender. Everything around me, letting all go have no attachment to it so that I can step into whatever it is I want to create. Yeah. Like it's crazy. Like, and I think that that's where a lot of conflict comes for people. And fear is to change. Like, you legitimately have to create a different identity for yourself. And like that was like with me when I stopped drinking and when I stopped my business. And like, all these things, like the person that I am now, like, if you put that next to the person that I was and I was 20, 19 years old, you would not think that it was the same person. And I have friends that I knew back then that I like, you know, retreated from while I was starting my business, that I've reconnected with, that they may as well be meeting a completely different person because, you know, because of that change. So it can be difficult for people to, make that transition and give up their identity and change that identity. Because you have a you have that ego, you have an attachment to that identity. If you are known as being the party animal that can smack of 30 Rock, you know, when you go out and that's like where all your praise comes from, it can be difficult to walk away from those things, although that there are limits limiting you, from your goals. It can be difficult to walk away from those things where you get that affirmation. Yeah, absolutely. And even if one of the things that I teach to is like even like that identity was safe, you know, even though it wasn't going in the way you got or even if it could have been categorized as bad, it was still familiar and you were surviving. And the brain actually registers things as survival versus not living. Like if you're I don't know how to say that on the podcast, but you can say anything. Because I don't know if what censorship and stuff, but it's like your brain is focused around survival. So even if slamming a 30 Rock doesn't kill you, even if you wake up the next day feeling absolutely like shit, your brain isn't going to know, oh, hey, that was bad. It's going to register. All right. We survived. We had fun. Let's keep doing that. And so you keep doing the same things over and over again. And to actually change the pattern, it's it feels wrong. Like I remember when I was first changing, a lot of different things within myself. The new habit, even if it was good, felt wrong in my body. And I think a lot of people who are experiencing, that same thing, they're like, okay, especially with New Year's resolutions, for example, like they're trying this thing and then they're like, why does this feel wrong? Why do I want to give up? And when we step into that, like River of change and into the unknown, everything becomes unpredictable. And for a brain that's overstimulated or traumatized, the last thing you want to do is be an unpredictable territory, correct? Yeah. It's like. And you're like, breaking these bonds and these neural pathways and creating this change. And it's like through conflict, through fire. And it our as humans, we are actually like, very, resistant. Resistant to change. Yeah. So you have to be conscious that your body and your subconscious is going to fight back against that change. But if you have that awareness that that's going to come, then you can consciously work through it, and get through that change because the grass is greener on the other side. But I think that awareness and like working with someone like you who's a coach that is aware of those things, super helpful. Yeah. What, has it been difficult, like as a young person to take on clients for coaching? Yes and no. I feel like so I started I started working with people as a coach when I was 22. I'm 25 now. And at the time, I was kind of working with the demographic that I could be of service to. So a lot of parents were hiring me, and I was working for their kids also. So that was like a really unique experience. And it was also really beautiful that it had, like, its pros and cons, because if your parents are forcing you to do something, you're a little resistant to it. Yeah. Which was exactly my situation at one point. But, so I could relate to them. And as I've gotten older, I've, I've expanded the age range of people that I work with. But I would say, what matters the most to me is like, how good of a job I can do and how educated I am. So I've really taken that, that side of things seriously, because if you are only 25, you lack, experience in the same way that someone who's like 40, you know, like, I don't understand certain things around divorce, but, or marriage, you know, for example. But what what would you say have been like, the most and inspiring, like books or podcasts or like, people, that you have found benefit from in your life? Yeah, definitely. Doctor Joe Dispenza, he has three incredible books and they're all on audible. So if you're not someone who likes to sit down and read you can listen to them. And I feel like it's equally as powerful. And then for podcasts, I also really love, there's this amazing teacher who I'm studying with right now. Her name is Layla Martin, and she has an incredible podcast called This Tantric Life. So that one's been really beautiful and yeah, I'm trying to think about other books. I feel like I read a lot, but I'm blanking on them. What do you think is the biggest or most profound thing that you didn't know when you embarked on this journey? But you do know now, and you wish you knew before and you'd like to share it with other people. That's a really good question. Let me think about it for a second. Yeah. So one of the things when I first went into, like healing my brain because I feel like when you start on these journeys, that's a huge thing that a lot of people begin to do. They start to heal the way they think and what they're eating. You know, their brain chemistry. And it's okay if it gets worse before it gets better. For me, the first year felt worse than the years that I was living with before, while my brain was recalibrating. So if it feels like it is getting worse, keep showing up for yourself and it'll start to soften. What is your definition of success? What are you chasing after? That's a really good question too. I would say I am. I really want to have a completely like, financially sufficient business where I'm being of service to people, like where I can fully take care of myself, but I'm also at all the ways that I'm earning money is by giving back to people. That's a great goal. Very inspiring. Oh thank you. If people are interested in your services or want to learn more about your journey, have some questions. They may be dealing with. The same thing in this episode resonated with them and want to ask you some questions. Where can they find it? Yeah. So, you can find me on Instagram at Holly Melohn. It's spelled H Holly aml o h n. And then my website is the same thing. So WWW dot Holly Melohn. Fantastic. Well I appreciate you coming on. It's been great. Thank you so much. Yeah.
